


Of Lipstick and Selfies

by shiptoomuch



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Cute, F/F, Fluff, Lesbians!, Rule 63, Tumblr!AU, but different?, everyone has a fucking blog, rewrite of an old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 02:11:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2007051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiptoomuch/pseuds/shiptoomuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(A Rule 63!rewrite of "Of Black Coffee and Dumb Blogs" because why not)</p><p>Jamie Kirk works in a coffee shop and has a blog. She falls in love with Lenore McCoy one day and it pretty much changes everything. Cue tumblr conversations a ridiculous amount of pining and coffee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Lipstick and Selfies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [butterflycell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflycell/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Of Black Coffee and Dumb Blogs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054436) by [shiptoomuch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiptoomuch/pseuds/shiptoomuch). 



> For The Great Rule 63 Fest 2k14
> 
> This was all butterflycell's idea and I decided to rewrite this fic and it got a little bit out of hand.
> 
> And also I like this version a lot better.

Jamie stares at the endless expanse of blue on her computer screen. Her head propped up in her left hand, she clicks through her inbox, responding to a few of the prompts. She can’t help but smile at the tiny bit of fanmail she gets as well. Every single word and note is a perfect pick-me-up after an incredibly long and draining day of class followed by a frustrating shift at Enterprise Coffee. She scrolls and scrolls and scrolls some more through her dashboard until a ten minute break becomes fifteen becomes twenty.

She, of course, doesn’t take note of this passing of time until Nyota is standing directly beside her and pinching her ear. “Ow! Jesus Christ!” 

“Your break ended ten minutes ago. Your blog can wait. Go work for once.” The other woman fixes Jamie with a glare that she knows is only half serious.

The next half hour of Jamie’s life is spent making excruciatingly complicated and pretentious orders. (Of course, she’s on mobile under the counter so she can make posts about the hipsters ordering.) Just as she’s about to give up on life and quit altogether, a girl walks in.

Jamie gasps audibly because that’s not a girl, that is a goddess. An honest-to-goodness example of perfection walking amongst mortals. Jamie stares at the girl’s long brown hair, pouty lips, and general air of disdain and she can’t help but think that this girl should be somewhere a lot better than a cheap coffee shop. 

Jamie decides, of course, that the best course of action is to pull out her phone and pretend to take a selfie when in reality, she’s totally getting a shot of Hottie McFlawless to post on her blog later. For the good of humanity, of course.

She only freaks out a little bit when the new object of her affection approaches her. It takes her just about as long to remember that she is the barista. 

“One large black coffee, please.” A rough southern accent nearly makes Jamie fall down right then and there. She opts for nodding enthusiastically and shooting the stranger a grin.

“That is the least pretentious thing I have heard all day. On behalf of my sanity, I thank you.” Jamie continues to grin as she grabs one of the paper cups. “Name?”

The girl glances around the shop and raises a perfect eyebrow in response. “Considering how there isn’t really anyone else to claim it, I don’t think that’s actually necessary.” She gestures behind her to the two other people sitting together with headphones in.

“Well, don’t you just have me figured out.” Jamie puts her hands up in mock defeat. “I really just want to know your name.” She smirks confidently on the outside. Inside, she’s dying a little bit. What the hell is she doing flirting with a customer? She doesn’t flirt with anyone. She has a blog.

Flawless purses her lips, but Jamie can see her slight smirk underneath the impatient expression. “McCoy. Lenore McCoy.” She waves her hands sarcastically. “Can I get my coffee now?”

“Coming right up!” Jamie writes Lenore’s name on the cup because she’s that kind of little shit. “I’ll even pour it myself.”

Lenore rolls her eyes as Jamie does just that. “How chivalrous of you.”

Jamie winks at her. “I’m Jamie, by the way. Jamie Kirk.” 

“I know.”

Jamie starts. There is no way this gorgeous woman has seen her before and actually paid attention. “You do?” She manages to squeak out.

Lenore lets out a short laugh. “Nametag, idiot.”

Jamie can feel her entire face go red. She stares down at the offending item and wants to melt through the floor, honestly. How could she forget the nametag? Lenore probably thinks she’s an idiot. 

She hands off the coffee, still blushing furiously. “That’ll be $3.87.”

A curious look and a “thanks” are all she gets from Lenore before she leaves.

-

She posts the picture later that day with the caption “damn.” She only feels kind of creepy about showing a picture of Lenore to complete strangers. Then she gets over it because it really is an amazing picture.

The amount of notes she gets is only mildly surprising. She runs a fairly popular blog and, as mentioned before, Lenore is absolutely gorgeous. That makes makes a very popular post and a lot of messages asking Jamie if she’s some actress or something.

What really surprises her, however, is the message she gets from a tumblr user she has never heard of before.

bonetiredalways: who the hell are you and how did you get a picture of me?

Jamie would like to say she didn’t choke on her ramen. She really would love to say that. But saying that would definitely be a lie because she almost died. With a sense of dread pooling in her stomach, she clicks on the url. She scrolls through the blog, praying to all of the gods that this is not happening to her.

A quick trip to the “about me” page verifies everything she had been fearing. Lenore has a blog.

Lenore has seen Jamie’s blog.

Her life is truly ending. There goes every single chance of dating a flawless human being. Jamie will never kiss Lenore McCoy and she is incredibly disheartened by this fact.

Except maybe not. Jamie’s never really gone by her actual name on her blog. She’s also never posted a selfie that she can remember. This could be pulled off. She will kiss Lenore. She still has a chance, at least.

physicsoffandom: You can call me JT. As for the picture: Sorry. I’ll take it down if you want. You did get a lot of notes, though. Think about it, Bones. INTERNET FAME.

bonetiredalways: bones?

physicsoffandom: You know, like your url. It’s a nickname. Do you want me to take the pic down?

bonetiredalways: no, it’s fine. leave it. have we ever met??

physicsoffandom: Probably not. 

Jamie decides it’s time for bed after that. She closes her laptop and puts it on the opposite side of the room. Things are getting a little bit too close.

-

Lenore comes back to the shop after that, much to Jamie’s surprise. She figured the other girl would try to stay as far away as possible from her little internet stalker. Jamie really couldn’t blame her if she wanted to.

But there she is. Standing in the coffee shop wearing a maroon sweater and looking like an absolute vision. Jamie can’t help but grin. “Lenore McCoy! You’re back!” She calls out with a wave.

Lenore sighs and raises an eyebrow at Jamie. “Hello, Jamie. The usual.” She glances around the shop and suddenly she gets it.

Lenore is here to look for her stalker. Jamie can’t help but feel a little bit disappointed. A part of her was hoping that it was the barista herself that was going to keep her coming back. 

Technically it was, but Lenore didn’t know that.

“You’ve been here once before. How can you possibly expect me to remember what you usually order?” Jamie teases.

Lenore stares back at her and Jamie sighs in defeat. Of course she remembers. It’s not a very hard order and she’s kind of enamored. 

“Well, I need to brew another pot, so it’ll be a few minutes.” Jamie smiles apologetically at Lenore, who simply shrugs. “So, Lenore, what’s new?” She leans over the counter and puts her chin in her hands. (She’s only kind of trying to show off her breasts.)

“See, that’s how I know you’re not a med student.” Lenore groans and presses the heels of her hands to her eyes. “You’re so cheerful all the time. Goddamn sunshine.”

Jamie grins. “Aw, Bones! You think I’m like sunshine?”

“Shut up and get me my coffee.”

Jamie pushes off the counter and mock salutes. “Right away, Miss McCoy.”

-

physicsoffandom: Help, I have literally zero motivation to do my homework

bonetiredalways: oh yeah, cuz im the right person to ask here. we both know im going to end up watching netflix all night

physicsoffandom: A woman after my own heart <33

bonetiredalways: oh yeah, that’s all i’ve ever wanted.

physicsoffandom: It’s okay, Bones. I know your heart is taken.

bonetiredalways: shut up. shut up right now.

physicsoffandom: BONESY LOVES A GIIIIRL!

bonetiredalways: oh my god why do i talk to you

physicsoffandom: are you going to ask her out?

bonetiredalways: because i totally have her number

physicsoffandom: well, you’re going to see her soon. d o i t

-

Lenore, who has become a bit of a regular at the shop, stands at the counter, all of her attention on her phone. She’s smirking and refusing to order. Jamie would be irritated and jealous if she didn’t realize that it’s probably the things she sent to the woman earlier in the day. As it is, she can only sigh.

“Hey, Lenore. Are you actually going to order or are you just here to look pretty?” 

Lenore’s head snaps up and her face colors slightly. She smiles softly and slips her phone into her pocket. “Oh, hey Jamie. Didn’t see you there.”

“Really?” Jamie raises an eyebrow in a perfect imitation of Lenore. “You didn’t see me standing here doing my job?”

“This girl I’m friends with on tumblr sent me this really funny thing.”

“Oh?” Jamie smirks at Lenore. “Tell me about her. You ever met in real life?”

Lenore sighs and shakes her head. “She says we haven’t but she’s so familiar, you know? I am almost positive we’ve met once or twice. She refuses to post any pictures of herself and she only goes by JT. But she’s hilarious and kind of great.” Lenore smiles and it make’s Jamie’s stomach drop to the bottoms of her feet because damn if it isn’t the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

“Sounds like you’re in pretty deep, Leo.” Jamie jokes.

The med student snorts and shakes her head. “She’s a friend. We only know each other on the internet and I am not about that life. Anyway, I’ve got my eye on someone else.”

“Really?” Jamie hands her the cup of coffee. “Who? Do I know him?”

Lenore blushes. “Her, actually.” She smiles and walks out of the shop.

Jamie hates her life, officially. She puts her head on the counter and when Nyota walks by and pulls her ponytail, she can only manage to groan, “So close, Ny. So close!”

-

bonetiredalways: you’re an idiot. like, a huge idiot. you know that, right?

physicsoffandom: You love me. Don’t even try to deny it, Bones

bonetiredalways: i most certainly do not. anyway, im at Enterprise. You know, the place where you stalked me

Jamie takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of her nose. She wants to throw her phone across the room. Preferably at a certain brunette who is perched on a couch with a laptop. 

physicsoffandom: Oh? Is you-know-who there????

She knows “you-know-who” is there.

bonetiredalways: voldemort? no.

Jamie snorts. Lenore looks over at her and she drops behind the counter. Oh god, this is all about to end. She’s going to be found out. Shit. 

She decides it’s best to play it cool (if that’s even possible at this point) and she stands up. “Dropped something.” She offers as a weak excuse. Lenore just nods slowly.

bonetiredalways: jamie is here, if that’s what you meant. she’s so weird but in an adorable way, you know? she’s on her phone right now. probably talking to some guy or whatever. she’s giggling.

Just then, Nyota walks into the shop and Jamie makes a point of saying “How was your date, Nyota? Give me all the dirty details. You know I’m painfully single and I live for your sexcapades with Spock.” She flutters her eyelashes and makes sure Lenore is looking.

Of course, Nyota understands what is happening here. She glares at Jamie and then at Lenore. “I will rip your tits off if you do not ask her out soon, I swear to god.” She hisses at Jamie before flipping her ponytail and strutting into the back room.

physicsoffandom: I think you should go for it. I have a feeling it’ll go really well

bonetiredalways: really? 

physicsoffandom: really really

bonetiredalways: fine. if i do this you have to meet me irl i hope you know

physicsoffandom: Only if you actually ask her out. TODAY.

Jamie holds her breath and watches Lenore nod at her computer and tuck it back into her bag. She stands and approaches the counter. Jamie is actually worried she might explode. “Can I help you? More coffee? A scone?” Jamie attempts to act as nonchalant as possible. She knows she’s failing.

“I’ve been coming here for a while.” Lenore stares at her hands. “And I know that our conversations are always pretty short. But you tell me stupid jokes and you’re always really interested in what I’m saying and I feel like I know you better than I do. It’s stupid and I can’t explain it, but that’s kinda how I feel.” She rubs the back of her neck and still doesn’t look at Jamie. “I have no idea where I’m going with this...”

Jamie taps her on the shoulder with a laugh and Lenore looks up. Hazel meets blue in the most hopeful way Jamie has ever seen in her entire life. “Do you want to go out sometime?” She smiles at Lenore. It’s suprisingly easier than she thought it was going to be.

Lenore breathes out a sigh of relief and rests her elbows on the counter. “Yeah. That sounds great.”

-

Fifteen dates in (no, Jamie is not counting), and Jamie thinks it’s actually going pretty well. Lenore is hilarious, Jamie manages not to trip over everything on the planet, and the sex is great. Like, really great. 

Quit her job and live in Lenore’s bed great.

Then she manages to fuck it up. She never thought she’d actually slip up, but when she goes to the bathroom while they’re at the movies and decides to message Lenore on tumblr, she finally does it. 

physicsoffandom: Hey, how’s the movie with your lady love? Cap 2 right???

bonetiredalways: what the fuck. how do you even know that.

And Jamie might just let out a few choice curses. Of course Lenore didn’t tell her about the date. Jamie Kirk is a massive idiot. 

physicsoffandom: good guess?

She’s toast. This is the end. Her girlfriend is going to break up with her tonight which is sad because they’ve both seen the movie before, so they definitely would not be watching.

bonetiredalways: oh my god. are you in the same theater as us?

physicsoffandom: you could definitely say that

Jamie’s head is reeling as she makes her way back to her seat. She settles down and tucks up against Lenore. Might as well get what she can while she can. 

“Hey, Darlin’.” Lenore frowns down at her. “Are you okay? You seem tense?”

“Fine.” Jamie whispers back.

Lenore tightens her arm. “Alrighty, then.”

Jamie manages to distract herself the rest of the movie with a certain southerner’s mouth. 

They’ve both seen the movie before. It’s no big deal that they miss practically the whole thing.

On their walk back home, Lenore starts guiding them in the definite wrong direction. Jamie’s not exactly sure where she’s going, so she trails along gladly, hand clasped in Lenore’s.

Then she realizes where they’re going, exactly. She stops dead in her tracks. “Why are we going to Enterprise?”

“Just want to get a cup.” Lenore answers vaguely, thinking face still on. “Come on, dear.”

So Jamie goes along with it. She walks herself to her own execution and she still wants to die a little bit.

They enter the shop and there’s no one at the counter, meaning that Nyota’s probably in the back room making out with Spock. Lenore walks over to the counter and, much to Jamie’s surprise, continues to walk until she’s standing behind it in Jamie’s normal spot. “Yep.”

“What is it, Len?”

Lenore smirks and leans on the counter. “Oh, nothing.” She winks. “JT.”

“Fuck.” Jamie groans. She walks over to the counter and takes one of Lenore’s hands. “I’m sorry, Bones. I wanted to tell you but then it would have been weird and it was the only way I could really talk to you at first because I was terrified of you. Did you know that you’re kind of intimidatingly gorgeous?”

Lenore cuts off her rambling with a kiss. Her one hand tightens in Jamie’s and the other one comes to cup her face. “You’re an idiot, you know that?”

Jamie leans into the touch and grins. “Yeah, I am. But you love me?”

“Yeah.”

-

bonetiredalways: it’s time jamie

physicsoffandom: I am sure I have no idea what you’re talking about, Bones. 

bonetiredalways: selfie time

physicsoffandom: I will eat you out right here right now if you don’t make me do this.

Lenore scoffs out loud and looks over at Jamie, who is sitting on her couch with a wicked grin. Jamie intensifies it and licks her lips. This might be her only actual hope.

“You can eat me out after you’ve posted your selfie.” Lenore responds and turns back to her laptop. “If you choose not to, you can bet you’re not getting anywhere near any of this.”

Jamie groans and clicks on the “photo” post button. “Get over here, loser. If I’m doing this, you’re doing it with me.”

Lenore just laughs at her and presses close to her.

The first ever selfie Jamie Kirk posts on tumblr is one of her grinning and Lenore kissing her cheek. She captions it “girlfriend time!” and lets it go with her eyes squeezed shut. 

What she wasn’t expecting was for her inbox to actually explode with followers freaking out.

fuckyeahspaceshipping: YOU’RE HOT OMG

anonymous: IS THAT THE GIRL FROM THE POST??? SHES YOUR GIRLFRIEND???? HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM US?

Jamie snorts and starts typing. 

physicsoffandom: Hey, I love you. Like a lot.

bonetiredalways: get over here. i do believe you owe me something.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback appreciated!
> 
> tumblr: fabtrek


End file.
